It’s 7:45 a.m., your child’s shoes are missing in action again.You’re already running late, and you find yourself saying things like “If you don’t hurry up, I’m leaving without you!” even though everyone knows you won’t. Sound familiar? Parenting has a way of testing both our patience and our character.

Our parenting style shapes the way we meet family goals, raising children who are grounded in values, growing in character, and learning responsibility in daily life.

We’ll unpack three common parenting styles: giving orders, giving in, and giving choices. See how they stack up when it comes to shaping our kids. Then, we’ll explore how intentional parenting, grounded in values and supported by practical tools like our Success Station, can turn those chaotic mornings into character-building moments.

We’ve all had those days where the drill sergeant in us takes over:

“Eat your vegetables, now!”

“Because I said so.”

“Don’t argue, just do it.”

This style, often called authoritarian parenting, sets limits but doesn’t leave much room for freedom. It’s about control and compliance. It may get quick results, but it often leaves kids feeling powerless or resentful.

The challenge with the “giving orders” approach is that it doesn’t leave much space for children to internalize values. They may follow rules out of fear or habit but miss the chance to practice decision-making.

Compliance without freedom doesn’t build ownership, and ownership is the root of lasting responsibility.

If your style leans heavily toward giving orders, ask yourself: Am I training obedience only, or am I helping my child develop character that lasts even when I’m not around?

Now let’s swing to the opposite side. Ever caught yourself saying things like:

“Fine, eat ice cream for dinner, just stop crying.”

“Do whatever you want, I don’t have the energy right now.”

This permissive style gives kids freedom with few boundaries.

Children may enjoy the freedom at first, but without limits, they can struggle with self-control. Instead of learning the difference between right and wrong, or wise and unwise, they learn to push boundaries until someone finally says “no.”

It might feel easier at the moment, but long-term, kids raised without clear limits can miss important lessons about respect, discipline, and accountability.

Too much freedom without guidance often leads to confusion. Remember, saying “no” sometimes is actually saying “yes” to your child’s growth.

This is where the magic happens. Instead of barking orders or surrendering to chaos, giving choices offers children freedom within boundaries.

Examples:

“Would you like to brush your teeth before or after putting on pajamas?”

“You can play outside after homework is finished. What subject would you like to start with?”

“You can help set the table or sweep the floor. Which do you choose?”

Giving choices is a balanced approach. It teaches responsibility by linking freedom with accountability. Children learn that actions have consequences and that they are trusted to make wise decisions.

This is where values meet practice. You’re guiding while giving space for growth, helping your child build responsibility, honesty, respect, and self-control.

Choices create opportunities for kids to practice freedom wisely, while still learning within safe and loving boundaries.

Of the three approaches, giving choices offers the best balance of freedom and structure. It helps children practice responsibility in daily decisions while still learning within clear boundaries. This balanced style encourages character growth and prepares kids for independence as they mature.

At the end of the day, our goal as parents isn’t just to keep everyone fed, clothed, and alive, though some days that feels like an accomplishment. It’s about shaping who our kids are becoming.

Ask yourself:

Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about progress. Each day gives us fresh chances to connect with our kids, shape their hearts, and build character through routines, conversations, and the choices we give them.

Now let’s talk about our Success Station. Because parenting styles sound great in theory, but mornings, bedtimes, and daily routines can still feel like total chaos.

You know the drill. You’re the broken record:

“Brush your teeth.”

“Did you pack your bag?”

“Why aren’t your shoes on yet?”

It feels like you’re nagging on repeat, and the stress doesn’t exactly bring out your best parenting self.

Use our Success Station, a visual tool that helps children take responsibility for their routines for morning, day, and evening. Instead of constant reminders, kids know exactly what’s expected and feel motivated to follow through.

The station comes with cards for specific tasks like brushing teeth, making the bed, or saying prayers.

As kids complete tasks, they move the cards.

Once all tasks are done, they earn a Success Token, a tangible reward that reinforces effort.

The goal is consistency. Over time, this routine builds ownership, character, and responsibility. Kids learn that responsibility feels good, and parents enjoy a calmer, smoother rhythm to the day.

The Success Station isn’t only about smoother mornings. It helps children build lasting habits rooted in responsibility, values, and integrity.

When kids see their progress, they feel proud. When parents see their child taking ownership, they feel hopeful. And when families share routines that are both peaceful and purposeful, everyone wins.

So how do you combine parenting styles, values, and tools like the Success Station into everyday family life? Here are a few tips:

Parenting is one of the most important and challenging jobs we’ll ever have. Some days, you’ll feel like a superhero. Other days, you’ll feel like you’re barely hanging on. Every moment, bedtime story, and morning routine matters.

When we parent with intentionality, balancing freedom and limits, and using tools that reinforce responsibility, we’re not just managing kids. We’re raising future adults who carry values, integrity, and character into the world.

And isn’t that the goal we’re all after?

We’d love to hear from you!

Which parenting style do you tend to use most often?

Email us! Got questions about our Success Station? Reach us at hello@familysecretstosuccess.com.

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